Marissa’s Corner

I’m watching through a phone screen as each of your life’s blossom into something amazing. As one of you falls in love with a man who I pray is treating you right. & as the other one of you becomes a mommy to such a beautiful baby girl. I never imagined our lives would play out this way. Or that I would be missing you this much one day. I guess God chooses a path for us that may not always seem right or easy. Each of you look so happy with the life God has given you. &, oh my, I am so happy for you too. I wish I could put into words just how happy & proud I am for both of you. & explain to you just how much I miss you both. I want you to each know that no matter where this crazy life takes us I will always be here. Cheering for you, loving you, praying for you each & every day. No matter what happens between us I will forever & always cherish the times I got to share with you (both the good & the bad). It seems that we have been through it all together.

As Mother’s Day gets closer, I find myself hurting more. My heart is breaking more. This is a feeling I never thought I’d feel. A heartbreak I never thought I would have to understand. When I was 14,I started having stomach pains while at a youth retreat with my church & some of my very best friends. The following Monday my mom took me to a doctor, who told me that my pain was from dancing too much. I’m a big girl who was on the high schools drill team (dance team), so it was completely believable that the dancing & my weight combined could have been causing the pain. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I often wonder if maybe the doctors had actually believed me about the pain I was in, if maybe we had caught the endometriosis earlier before it had grown so much, if I would be having the problems I have today. They did the surgery that diagnosed me with endo. My dr told me that the chances of me having kids would be slim, but I didn’t believe he