Today has been particularly hard. It’s only 12:45 pm & I’ve already cried about 30 times today. Worship at church this morning had me bawling like a baby. Today I feel alone. I feel like a failure. Today is one of those days where everywhere I look all I see is pregnant women & babies. This morning at church I cried to God. I needed His love. I needed to feel Him, & I did. I begged God this morning for two pink lines. I begged God to show me a way because right now it feels like there isn’t one. The last few months, the last few weeks to be more specific, have been particularly rough. Four weeks ago I went to the dr & was diagnosed with PCOS. It had been less than a week since my husband & I got baptized & the devil decided he was gonna come in swinging. My heart shattered. God had already placed me through the storm of dealing with Endometriosis, & now this. How was i supposed to fight both battles at once & still walk around with my held high like ...
I’m watching through a phone screen as each of your life’s blossom into something amazing. As one of you falls in love with a man who I pray is treating you right. & as the other one of you becomes a mommy to such a beautiful baby girl. I never imagined our lives would play out this way. Or that I would be missing you this much one day. I guess God chooses a path for us that may not always seem right or easy. Each of you look so happy with the life God has given you. &, oh my, I am so happy for you too. I wish I could put into words just how happy & proud I am for both of you. & explain to you just how much I miss you both. I want you to each know that no matter where this crazy life takes us I will always be here. Cheering for you, loving you, praying for you each & every day. No matter what happens between us I will forever & always cherish the times I got to share with you (both the good & the bad). It seems that we have been through it all together. ...